Warning, going into very personal stuff now...you don't have to read if that makes you uncomfortable.(writing it mostly for myself)
My family has never been very supportive of anything I chose to do. The pressure was terribly (still is) overwhelming at time. I got stuck in a life I didn't want just out of sheer guilt...how could I dare to want things for myself...selfish girl! How did I dare to go out with friends (let alone boyfriends)? How did I dare to go away alone (L.A. seemed like about far enough to get away, it was not)? How did I dare to have a life?
Unfortunately guilt always brought me back, cut me out from friends...guilt is still holding me and most of those people have been dead for over 10 years...And now I cannot get out of this way of thinking that I actually don't deserve anything. I don't deserve friends, I don't deserve a job I like, I don't deserve a boyfriend, I don't deserve anything that makes me happy really because I am selfish.
And even though I now know the problem is not and never was me, my lizard brain doesn't want to know anything and keeps me in my old non-working unhappy ways.
I should get the patches in a month or so. They'll be sold in my DinaFragola shop.
